We all know parenting ain’t easy. Not at all. Try raising a squad!
Here Rob and I thought the toddler years are over, and we finally get to catch our breath. Lol, that’s not how it goes. Just as we wanted to take our foot off the pedal, boom. We have teenage sons. Boom our 11 years is becoming a young lady.
So, no. We are definitely not taking our foot off the pedal. The teenage years are the delicate, fragile years. The years one must keep the finger on the pulse or else we lose our kids to the world and I don’t know about you moms out there but I have no intention of losing my kids to the world.
How do you keep the finger on the pulse?
Talk, talk and talk some more. Communication is key. We have family meeting to catch up and talk to our squad. And we always let them know that we are here for them that we are not some aliens that dropped from the sky and became their parents instantly. We actually were their age at some stage, and we understand what they are going through, we can relate to them, and they should bounce things off us, ask as many questions as they want and let them know nothing is off the table.
Check in as much as possible, ask them if they are good. So with our kids we know them so well, without them saying a word, their facial expressions tell us what is happening. And sometimes we ask them before they even say a word, and they like, how did you know something is off?
Listen and listen some more. They don’t always want a lecture, sometimes they just need your ear. Be and stay in tune with them. Let them know nothing they ever do will make you love them less or stop you from loving for them. They must know they don’t have carry things on their own, they must know that you will be there no matter what and that your love is unconditional and never ending.
Make emotional, hormonal and puberty conversations so normal in your home that it’s an easy topic for them to discuss when the time comes. It shouldn’t be something they shy away from. Make them comfortable with these kinds of conversation, make them feel comfortable with themselves.
We raised our glasses and toasted to our daughter for heading into the young lady world, she must know that she has nothing to be embarrassed about when the time comes and that it is something beautiful to encounter. Our eldest son, is going through adolescence, and he has different moods, and we need to respect his space and mood. He needs to have the space to deal with his emotions, and we talk to him often and let him know he is not the only 15-year-old young man in the world going through what he is going through.
Be even more Present from the age of 10 – 21 years.
1. Respect and listen to them.
2. Reward increasing maturity with more freedom.
3. Take away privileges if they can’t handle the freedom.
4. Set clear and firm rules.
5. Hold them accountable — set and follow through with consequences.
6. Expect them to keep their word and you do the same.
7. Don’t take difficult behaviors as a dare or challenge.
8. Accept that friends are an important influence.
9. Know that teens need you in their lives, but on their terms.
10. Share your values.
11. Continue to communicate.
12. Tell them a million times a day you love them and that you are always there for them.
13. Teach them it is OK to not be OK.
Teens are continuously changing and often their lives are filled with emotional, physical, intellectual, and social turmoil. Understanding this helps us parents manage their new and rocky stage of development.
Each kid is different, their personalities are completely different, their perceptions are different, as parents we cannot have a blanket approach in how we raise them.
We always tell our kids, we are all humans we all will make mistakes what is important is to forgive yourself, take accountability for your actions, apologize for your mistakes, deal and move on, most importantly go on and live life by doing better. You cant change the past you can just learn from it.
Deal with your emotions and the situtaion
Lets be good to the next generation.
Remember that teens can be passionate, exuberant, fun, idealistic, and creative. Raising them can fill your life with the same. Keep your finger on the pulse and be present.
Happy Teenage years mean solid whole adult years.
Be Good to the next Generation!
2 thoughts on “Keeping your finger on the pulse!”
Being a mom to two wonderful teenagers made me reflect on a lot that you have shared Simone. I couldn’t agree more on your statement “Listen and listen some more”. We make the mistake of not lending an ear and miss very important messages our teenagers try to communicate. I’ll always remember to listen some more.
Thank you Charmaine. So happy you not only enjoyed my post but you also able to take something away from it.
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